An album that never existed, complete with a hype sticker whose hit singles are actually your selling points.
Square 1:1 album cover, full bleed, painted like a late-1970s horror-rock LP jacket in oils and airbrush. Composition: an enraged torch-and-pitchfork mob presses in from both side edges, faces caricatured mid-shout, lit entirely by firelight; oversized foreground hands thrust torches into frame from the corners so the viewer stands inside the mob. Dead center, [PRODUCT — e.g. "a tall slim can of sparkling water"] rises as a giant monolith lashed to a burning stake atop split firewood, ember particles spiraling into a boiling black smoke cloud that silhouettes it. Palette: molten oranges and golds against near-black, one sickly green-lit farmhouse on the horizon. The product label is repainted as tiny period-correct engraving, not modern print. Bottom-right lockup, exactly as classic metal jackets do it: the brand name "[BRAND — e.g. KALVA]" in ornate cream blackletter with beveled edges, and beneath it in small letterspaced serif caps a compilation-title pun: "LIVE AND UNFILTERED". Visible canvas tooth, warm varnish glow, slight vignette. No real band, album, or beverage trademarks, no photographic elements, no modern sans-serif type, no watermark, no extra text.